The Gay community has born the tragedy of two great epidemics: the first was HIV/AIDS, which robbed us of a generation of leaders and mentors. The second was meth, which will continue to rob us of future leaders, mentors, and youth for years to come unless we can come to understand its power over our community.
Hi, my name is Leon Fox. Over the past 10 years, I’ve struggled with bouts of meth use that repeatedly threatened to devastate my life.
Never did I think my twice-yearly recreational use would snowball into a bi-weekly habit by year seven and become my go-to ritual for numbing pains and celebrating pleasures. This period of my life culminated in a harrowing six months where I was either using or coming down and constantly consumed by sadness, anger, self-loathing, and self-pity.
I consumed meth in benders that lasted 4–5 consecutive days, during which I barely ate, drank, or slept — until I would inevitably pass out from exhaustion. The spaces between were always brutal: leaving me physically and motivationally destitute for a week or even longer. At least a hundred times, I promised I’d never pick up the pipe again, and a hundred times, I broke that promise.
Despite being fully aware that my life was spinning out of control, my desire to use remained virtually unchanged.